It seems that the Christmas times , end of cycle and the beginning of year again put my mind to roll again , had been trying to write something but it was an impulse that never materialized and between all purposes arising year I it is faithfully marked the write more in this blog.
Decision making has been steady in recent months , it seems that is not hard to do but has occupied much of my time and energy to reach certain conclusions that will take shape in the months or years but now at least I’m very happy know clearly the way … continue to lack some other decisions that are crucial but I think you also have to give them as much space worth .
In a few days I will fulfill 33, haha! this morning I laughed with my mom telling her and was going to have and I’m really proud of them, I think I lived quite well and would not consider letting them have clearly they have given me a definition of me what I am as a person, what I want and I do not want to me, it feels so much peace to have it so close.
Last night I planned to complete a task that a lot of sense to me right now, make the complete application for re eScholar in MedX 2014, is a great opportunity for which I am very willing to fight and yesterday the first major step since was given, now have to wait for the outcome of the committee but I have great faith in being back there and still be part of this, MedX has changed my life completely.
Writing in this application lines to justify my ability to participate was constantly present the thought of “being more than the disease” or ” illness do not define you”, from the speech when I take the role of psychologist is extremely consistent and also advisable to be clear when you must help someone in their personal process , as I said ” from the role of psychologist ” the only issue here is that besides being a psychologist I am also the ” ePatient” (very humbled with that title). And I find here the first connection between what I want this blog to become about someone lives and what you experience in your life with “chronic pain” or “chronic disease” beyond diagnosis that doctors have given you .
In psychological theory and what we call in sports psychology as a fundamental variable is the “self-concept ” when they are explained to my athletes I simply say: “what you think of yourself, you do and has 3 fundamental characteristics: self-esteem , assertiveness and self-efficacy ” each of these 3 definitions psychological well developed from the theoretical point of view but basically describe:
– Attitudes we have towards ourselves as well as internal staff language about one’s emotions , thoughts and behaviors.
– The ability to communicate to others and ourselves fluently , safety, consistency . Being able to recognize emotions and expressing them clearly without hurting others and / or our person. Security to say ” yes” or “no” when circumstances warrant without causing us hardship .
– According to Bandura (1998), Trujillo ( 2009) is “the set of beliefs that a person has on its competence in order to achieve certain objectives , it affects the execution this as the future , measured between the capacity and behavior, influences the choice of activities, the amount of effort invested and the persistence in the task “
Why define this now? Simply : Every day is built a bit of “self-concept” . Each of humans going to situations that we face in day to day may question or increase ” what we think of ourselves ” and ” what we are able to face ” and ” the way we face “.
You lives in a constant state where in your day to day in most cases have no control over your awaking every day? and then, that can change your plans even if you’d had all put in order! that at least in my case this happens ….. and I think most of the ones I experience chronic pain associated with fibromyalgia , chronic fatigue syndrome, rheumatoid arthritis, cancer , Crohn’s disease , autoimmune diseases, etc …. happens to us , it is something to consider when thinking about the psychological effects that influence the self-concept.
Today wear and who you know who has! this now makes me grace cause it’s only writen but live it is completely different , why ? … Because even in this game of life are others with whom you live and love, whether your siblings, parents, relatives , friends, boyfriend or girlfriend, coworkers, bosses, students , etc.. , etc.. , etc.., all as part of your life and in some way affected when you can not perform certain activities. Maybe when you have flu you can say I’m so sorry, today is hard to date with you, I feel bad!! but I recovered in 3 days, which is completely natural and safe for the next 5 days and you are as new. The problem here is when your normal days generally lives with pain or discomfort, “something” that sometimes is not in your control such as the environment, weather, or things to eat that do not prepare you and makes feel you a little “worse” or trigger a Factor in crisis and your immune system goes crazy or depressed and surprise you with a funny “allergy, flu, temperature, influenza or anything naturally inflame the body ” in a nutshell you completely tomb.
It’s very importantly all this because then there is also a judgment from others about you , how each invite you out you have to deal with the decision to stay in your bed to rest because your personal power battery is completely empty and you feel you need an industrial machine to move every muscle in your body? What happens when you know you stay up and that means out or yes the next day will bring consequences as can be not only the next day but later? What if you have a lot of work and pain will not let you concentrate, you feel completely anxious , you forget the words, you can not express know how to do to get back to your house driving without danger of collision and an accident? What when you have to tell your friends, family and / or colleagues who can not participate in a movement activity (although have been lifelong athlete) because now run 50 meters. and / or move quickly means a crisis can take pain for 3 weeks without anything take it away? What if you have to introduce yourself to work no matter what your body hurt so much and you do not know what shoes to wear because not the best outfil but because not even stand the feel of them on your toes, tight clothing and / or use as comfortable possible (in your pajamas), in addition to the hours you should be there productiv being as you could be? What when to stop work and attend a session means that your athletes, patients, customers will not advance in the planned and they do not earn what would correspond , which can put you into financial problems if it happens constantly (which is very real) What when you have to tell everyone in your house that can enter the new Year dinner because you feel so bad and want the world to end at that time and meanwhile listen to all laugh, play , be in full moment that you wanted to be ? (give the example of the new year but this can happen in any situation), what if you are thinking of having a family and there are days you can not even be stand by 30 minutes because it is a complex activity? What if you want to reach a thousand professional dreams and sometimes misses you energy to do everything you need? and well … millions of examples everyday where you’re not only involved but those around you and will always want to look good but also undoubtedly make judgments and that comes to you without further….
You could literally no longer be functional, just be a sick person, knowing that everything you complicated and then throw it away, leaving behind your dreams, complaining over what you already complaints, make your life somewhat secluded where you walk away from all and let you rest your body while your mind might be producing. The truth is “you could still enjoying every second of life and the wonders that gives you live even though the pain” ….
It has been difficult to explain how the passage of time and the most important moments of my decision making , my form my own “self ” as it has been quite a crisis in the midst of all this and moments where I almost throw the towel …. I know I am extremely fortunate to have a support network I have to say “they are the best” in the best state of health that may be, I am very grateful for the blows they taught me to not take it as a total disaster, I think naturally I have always been very positive but also I’ve been surrounded by my personal angels who have charge of putting the right words so you can hear and then continue in this way.
Today faithfully as they say “the opportunities are always present, the signs are manifested everywhere, just depends if you are storing tracks and let flourish in your life in the right moments”
This morning I found a video on the web, I must say I’m a fan of TED, they grouped personalities that really emit not only a personal view but also generate knowledge , provoke thought, let you into his life very honestly … that is the case today where I am “the moving speech of the ugliest woman in the world “ and I put it here because it completely differs, in its most basic sense, your physical condition (including disease) do not define to you, you have the option to decide “what’s your best definition of yourself and then take on the world with the best of you”
At other times I would have thought that 3.5 years with pain and all that it has brought about would be my worst nightmare, now these years and all that I have experienced have led me today to be “the best version of myself ” and I love it! because every day I face the possibility of being what everyone would want , what disease would mean or what should already be my almost 33. It consciously that my role in the world barely started and that this “painful” experience so to speak has taught me that I can give much thanks to what I learned, what I learn and what I ‘m willing to face to make this worthwhile.
During the most difficult moments of these years I could have left my jobs, left to my athletes and all the goals we have achieved together, missed the chance to live the Pan American Games and Olympic games with them, I could stopped traveling to the most amazing places dreamed of living , “I could leave my master” ufff ….. perhaps the most difficult step because it involved me much mental, physical , emotional strain and was about to give up… lucky me, there was someone who pulled ears and pushed me I needed to go ahead.
Today I am very happy because I got everything I wanted to today , haha!!, I am nothing rich economically but my heart is overflowing all that treasure and have a mind with a thousand ideas that can take me and others to live as they want, with lots of beautiful memories, perfect moments and many eager to live fully.
Hopefully you can take a look at the video, unfortunately I could only find it in English but is very good and quite clear all the concepts that were reviewing in this space today.
I hope with all my heart that this 2014 becomes very full “of what you want to be for you and for the world” and this definition makes you as happy could be for you and to others.
Happy start of the best year!! ! The 2013 was also safe and will remain so all who come.