“Excercising the spirit ….. living the dream”
I tried several days write down everything I want to say about “the peak experience at # MedX” has been more difficult than I thought because sometimes I lack the words to express just a little of what it has meant being there .
Maybe I have to tell some of my story , unfortunately I could not make contact with ALL there, in that moment better than to talk about me was to hear from you because you are a treasure that I can’t have anywhere else.
For 3 ½ years suffer chronic pain, some doctors say it’s Fibromyalgia, others that it is Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, other Ankylosing Spondylitis, other some dysfunction in my hypothalamus, Post Traumatic Stress …..bla, bla, bla, the reality is that I have not a real diagnosis but I have tried all treatments for each of these “labels diseases”. After going through all the treatments and doctors as possible and thank God for always being helped by my family and my best friend Tommy is that life continued with a real sense.
About a year and a half, fatigue and pain seized me completely…. I was deeply exhausted physically and emotionally… have always hoping to find a doctor who could give me a diagnosis, spending every last penny I had because the insurance does not cover these expenses and not have clarity of the reasons I felt I drew the soul every day was too hard to bear. It had been devastating explain to the world four years before the reasons to made me decided to divorce and now had to face a new reality in which it was impossible to say why I felt so bad and what was wrong with me….. but everyone believed “she was crazy, in depression” and inventing all my symptoms. I’m pretty sure a diagnosis could be better, at least you have one reason to be ill.
I am a psychologist, specializing in sports psychology, education and “science fan”…. For this reason there was only one question stuck in my head: “Science must be able to do something with me”, I searched everything I could here in Mexico and some options abroad, I have been very fortunate to met for my work to many scientists and somehow helped me to at least recognize that my symptoms were not invented by me. On the other hand, one of those scientists, my best friend who is also Tommy and sport psychologist too told me: “I promise that we will find the way you’re fine, just please do not stop fighting, don’t give up”.
Being a sports psychologist means you work to accompany the athletes to achieve their dreams, you train their mind to make the full potential is shown in the best time.
Since I remember all my life I have believed in dreams and I’ve lived mine on more than one occasion, when I began my work as a sports psychologist found a way to understand that “the dreams of my athletes are the most sacred thing and if they put in my hands their dreams, then I must do everything possible to be achieved” In this way I have seen many fall, get up, believe in them, change behaviors… train their mind but mostly make use of his heart to seek to achieve the dream. Today I can say that living with them their dreams and commit to that made I did not give up on my own reality and draw energy from the depths of me to continue the search.
Accompanying them and looking the most scientific I could, there was always an idea in my head: “If I have so many resources in my favor and I’ve suffered so much, feeling me so desperate … I can’t imagine the feelings of those who can’t have so many blessings , I must do something for that to change”.
I kept searching all the time, I felt at least 6 different protocols we invented between Tommy, the doctors we met and my own research, of course I fell in that experience with me many times in my own trap and pain crises were unbearable, however was something that I never wanted to play and that today was the most important element for living my life .. “The spirit had to exercise it” My life always was full of sport, physical activity and I used to do it, my world was surrounded by that, how could I not have asked me about the need to exercise my spirit?.
One of my actual jobs is in a Jesuit’s University named ITESO and belongs to a Catholic congregation founded by St. Ignatius of Loyola (founder of the Jesuit order in the world) inside he did for the Church, developed a methodology called “Spiritual Exercises”. During my student experience and 11 years after working there, had never tried this methodology… the truth is I did not want to believe that anything but science could help.
I decided to do the spiritual exercises, 8 days in a peaceful place, trees, bird song, just amazing things and where 90% of the time had to be silent (as you read, without speaking, communicating by telephone, internet, nothing, just me), reviewing some materials to reflect and learn to pray but the most importantly was able to be in communication with myself… how was that possible? I was not communicated with me?….. I had to start exercising the most interesting I’ve tried … the discernment of spirit: “distinguish between your fantasy, the worlds fantasy and what really moves your heart, your principle and foundation” therefore.. How can you meet your true mission in everyday life?
From those eight days where I learned not only to be very attentive to me, will try to be quiet to listen to my heart, my body and back to love me in the new reality that I live, was the key to commit a new lifestyle, major breakthroughs but now I’m very happy.
Within this year and a half has been pain as always, crises that sometimes are uncontrollable but be attentive made me decide to make radical changes like my diet, my way of work out physically, my way of rest at night, decide to stop being workaholica (I’m still trying, hehe), go to counseling, pray daily, to keep all my data in different apps, making use of techniques such as biofeedback and neurofeedback (which I work with my athletes to control stress and increased performance in tasks such as attention), brain gym exercises, laugh more than I already did but especially “enjoy everything that gives me life and be alert to the signs ”
Now the signs, dreams and spiritual exercise make sense in the story where you all. One day, in the middle of one of the strongest crises I’ve ever had and had done everything possible to cut it and nothing worked, I was really desperate, in bed and crying, telling God , “Please, if all this what I have to keep going needs to pass, at least give me a sign, tell me what I do not understand, I feel like I can’t anymore”…. There are icons in my life, universities have always been one of them and Stanford is part of a dream that was willing to comply, to a few months that I had made Stanford Medicine follower on Twitter and that day in crises for no reason in the middle of crying I found a #chronicalpain I completely stole the spotlight as Stanford and it was talking about something that had related with me, for some reason I was sure had everything related with me. Then followed the entire route of that message and found #MedX, it was as if everything is joined, took effect, the pieces were in the right place, was completely to do what it took to be there and not I hesitated a second. Instantly I was doing everything I was asked to enter the chance to be part of the Scholars program and also have a scholarship, could be better? IMPOSSIBLE.
I do not know what it was that happened when I applied, I do not know what they could see: Sarah, Britt, Nick, Lisa, Larry and all who were involved in that … only that caused this: “The dream, the spirit, illusion and my mission in life gathered in one place to make sense of it all” from there , my head every day went round and round trying to figure out what time could do with all that live at Stanford, to be honest I sought to understand what actually #MedX looked however I think any explanation is small compared to what it really is.
My energy, my body, my mind, my spirit all vibrated to go to that AMAZING place, do not know if anything could called perfect but this experience has all the letters “PERFECT”. I think like everyone, a few days before reaching the great Thursday September 26 had nervousness and perhaps confusion, I think that thing I had encountered was with the idea of my communication there… do not know if one day before Monday 23 I asked if I could communicate easily … 23 , 24 and 25 were all doubts ….. language, my arrival at Stanford, what was my mission there, how would I contribute? . Of course, if this story is PERFECT then everything had to be so from the beginning, the first angel that appeared was Britt who I desperately sent a message via Facebook asking her “please explain to me how to get to Stanford because there were at least 3 possible and all I wanted was to get there safely” . Maybe passed like 20 minutes and I had a whole explanation and also a message that calmed all: “There will always be someone to help you out” and her phone.
A few minutes later, a message from my other angel Nikki: “I’m arriving at SFO on the 26th at 8:20 am; Jet Blue“, could not have asked for anything better? Ha ha ha I think it might have been impossible. Now there was only a challenge could despite, my language within the group and my contribution to others and myself? ….
Nikki not only had to walk 3 terminals with all her luggage, but also made a sign for me to realize she was there, waited and took me safely to Stanford. Not only that, made me feel safe and happy to be with her, to have found in life an excellent human and teach me so much in so few days.
Getting to Stanford was better than any dream, from the outset there was that wonderful feeling of “flow”, to enjoy every second of being there, to amaze with every incredible detail, despite the pain of believing and knowing that it could not be in a better place.
I can’t ever finish thank you all for the generosity with which you treated me all these days, the interest in communicating with me, for allowing me to be among you and see not only the body, but touch your soul, your spirit….. each and every one of you have clung to one or multiple dreams, a sense of life, perfection made people was there.
I have learned every second, you as the main idea of “2012 Olympic Games” inspire a generation (I’m the most inspired by you), all your actions, every word and your soul generate in my life a huge motivation, clear ideas to help certainly others and at least have a Blog braking language boundaries.
I think I love everything I do in life, at my workplace I organize conferences and even with all that I have lived in different parts of the world had never been able to touch something so quality, again so PERFECT … the smelled passion, love for what you do was there, every little and huge details…. Just such a dream I lived every second of the four days at #MedX .
Certainly learned more than in my entire life, I reflected on my mission, on the possibilities to gather my skills, my education, my dreams, my heart and the certainty of having done what I must do to be “in the right place at the right time and in the right circumstances ” . When life changed with the onset of pain, the years had gone through divorce and everything seemed to be in a hurricane always thought: “being a good student, good daughter, good human, dutifully sacrificed if this happened to me? , no doubt all that happened made me went to find the signal #MedX and although I very much agree with Terri when he mentions “the pain is not a gift” it certainly is not , but it was the medium that allowed me to know, live this invaluable experience and now have a sense of life with clear objectives in favor of others.
Thanks to each of you for being who you are, THANK Larry for having the passion and conviction with which you live and your head could create all this, for treating me like never before strangers at the that time could have. THANKS for wanting to talk to me in Spanish, was extraordinary and much more for allowing me to break the language barrier and communicate in my language all that was living there. The Latino community will certainly be the beneficiary of all this effort that jumps all possible boundaries and today has no comparison whatsoever in the world.
I laughed, I cried, I got excited, I learned, you not only impacted my life; your courage, conviction, determination, humility and passion triggered in my head and generate thousands of ideas that will wrap the mission in my life and impacts on my country, I’m pretty sure I’ll find effective alternatives to help and empower all who live like us.
Soon you’ll receive news about my “emergent technology space” still unnamed but take into consideration that all of you will participate in some extent, that will allow me to have them around and show the world all his wealth and potential to help others.
I think still remained unsaid but it was a good start….. THANK YOU for being my friends today, my strength … I AM YOUR FAN! I love you all and if one day Larry convinces my idea lol no doubt that Mexico ‘s invite to an edition of # MedX , surely love!